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I was running through my post when i found tht i've change so much, im more retarded now, and i hate myself now. i dont understand why, why should i hate myself when i think tht my friends are the one in wrong. WHY. why cant i just treat as if nothing has happen like how i was last time, and love myself. WHY do i have to say i hate myself? why must i live in self-denial, pretend tht i dont know when i DO know. pretend that i love you when i DONT. and why why why. i just dont get it. URGH, im trying so hard to say i hate myself, and im not going emo but im still trying very hard to salvage this friendship but you're not. okay fxck.